she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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