I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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