Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize