sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
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I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
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It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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