Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize