5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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