I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
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It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
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I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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