I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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