oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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