final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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