Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
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he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
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Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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