i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize