I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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