I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
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