It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
i've created a new STD.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I love you. Go after that dick
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