tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
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how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
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Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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