she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You don't make any sense
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