Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
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You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
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Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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