Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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