I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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