you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
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He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
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this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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