It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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