No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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