i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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