Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize