I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
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The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
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Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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