I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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