i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize