God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize