He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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