It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize