i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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