Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
