My liver just broke up with me...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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