kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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