I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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