don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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