Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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