enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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