This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
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Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
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