i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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