Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
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We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
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She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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