my mouth tastes like poor choices
im six kinds of drunk right now
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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