She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
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I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
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Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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