We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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