I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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