i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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