I just cut my nipple shaving
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize