so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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