He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize