ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The Olympian is in my bed
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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